My Story: conception does not come easy

My husband and I began our journey to have children about a year or two into our marriage – I was about 25 and my husband, 28. After trying for six months I began to wonder if it would happen. My husband on the other hand wasn’t as worried but was just as anxious to have a child. So we kept trying. Every month when my cycle was a few days late, we’d announce to our family and some friends that this could be it. But month after month it was a let down and we stopped telling people that we “might” be pregnant.

After a year of trying, I suggested we get tested. We did and found out that our journey would be a difficult one.

As we discussed family building, our different thoughts on medical treatments, adoption, and other methods strained our relationship. My husband didn’t want to go through infertility treatments or adopt. He looked me in the eyes and said he could be happy with me for the rest of his life without kids. I thought how sweet and my sentiments were the same, except for the part “without kids”. I wanted children.

To make a long story short, after all this is a blog, we took a long break from trying, but I still remained prayerful, believing that it would happen for us.

Then one day, a miracle happened. I landed a job that would fully cover our infertility treatments. I convinced my husband to start the journey again. We tried medications, but they did not work. We then tried in vitro fertilization (IVF). We became pregnant, but experienced a loss at five months. We were devastated. Our little boy was no longer with us. The sadness, the lack of communication, and unsupportive actions that came about almost destroyed our relationship. Thanks to God and our love for one another, we got back on track.

My husband and I were now on the same page with family building. We decided to adopt a little girl that was about to be born. This mother was young (early 20s) and didn’t think she could care for her child financially nor did she have her family’s support. We offered our home and our love as the child’s new parents, but when she told us why she felt as though she couldn’t keep her child we then offered her support until she could get on her feet – that is, if she really wanted to keep her baby. It turned out that her family had a change of heart and offered to help the mother and her baby. In the end, the mother decided to keep her child.

A few months later, we tried IVF again and were successful.

By this time, ten years had passed and we had our little girl. We froze our embryos and tried again four years later. After one more let down, we then became pregnant with twins. This was a rough pregnancy and road for us. I was placed on bed rest six weeks into the pregnancy, I lost my job, I was given a feeding tube, my gallbladder erupted, I lost one son at five months, and I was rushed to the hospital on my hands and knees in an ambulance at 34 weeks. All the way I asked God to take of my baby and me. As promised, He did. We now have a beautiful son. And through it all, my 3 year-old daughter was a gem and my husband – well, let’s just say, I truly want him in my life forever. He’s one in a million.

What’s next? Only the Lord knows what the future holds, and because of the miracles I have seen in my life, I can’t wait to see what unfolds. But for now, I will cherish my family and strive to help others who are on this journey.

You Have a Voice Too

I know the subject of infertility can be hard to talk about, especially when you are the one going through it. But it is not a taboo subject. This is a real condition which needs to take center stage.

Friends, family, churches, social groups, employers, organizations, the media, state/congress representatives, etc. need to realize the importance of this disease/cause.

Infertility should not only be recognized when a celebrity talks about it (and kudos to those who share), but it should matter just as much when YOU talk about it.

You have a voice too! 

Help me continue to raise awareness about infertility by being bold enough to share your story with others. 

If we don’t talk about it . . .Then how will others know about it? How will they know about the challenges we face? How can they understand us better?  Our communities need to be informed.

The fight to cure cancer is a beautiful mission. The race to cure aids is a marvelous undertaking. BUT, infertility is a wonderful cause too and deserves the same level of recognition and support.  Don’t you agree?

If you are sharing your story – that is AWESOME!  Please continue.  If not, there is no better time than the present to get started.

So, let’s talk it up!

Lifelike dolls bring comfort

Many people collect them. Others give them away as gifts. Some use them as a form of comfort. Lifelike dolls are being created and sold world-wide. These lifelike dolls are also known as reborn dolls or fake babies.

Reborn dolls date back to the early 1990s. The process of creating such dolls is described at www.reborn-baby.com, a UK company specializing in this art. These dolls are created as close to a realistic baby as possible . . . from the hair on their head to their manicured nails to their magnetically attached umbilical cords to their soft and cuddly body to the clothes that they wear. And, if desired, special technology can make these dolls warm to the touch, give them a realistic sounding heartbeat, or make the chest rise and fall to simulate breathing. Dolls so real in appearance, that police offices have mistaken dolls left in cars for real babies.

Once considered a collectible item, these dolls are used for many purposes to include providing comfort, healing and calmness. For example, women who miscarry have purchased these dolls to help fill a void in their heart. Nursing homes use reborn dolls to calm and comfort confused or anxious patients. Some buy and care for these lifelike dolls when their children and/or grandchildren move away. Others who elect not to have children due to their heavy work schedules purchase these dolls to help satisfy their maternal instinct. According to Reborn Baby Dolls Online (Article: Reborn Dolls Creepy or Therapeutic) “more older women are purchasing reborn babies as a way of helping them remember what it was like being a mother. . . they can be very therapeutic, especially for these older women. Studies have shown that holding and cuddling a baby, whether a real baby or a realistic baby, releases hormones in the body that promotes emotional well being.”

As with all things, there are some skeptics. There are those who think lifelike dolls are somewhat unnatural, but for others these dolls bring joy.

In October 2008, the Today Show ran a segment on women who collect lifelike dolls. Click here to read the article, see a slide show of reborn dolls, and watch a video. Although this story ran almost a year ago, the segment is still informative and enlightening. Lifelike doll magazines are also available. To find a “lifelike doll” retailer, use any online search engine.

If you have one of these dolls or want to purchase one, please share your story. Someone may want to hear from you.

For more information read:

• Reborn Baby Dolls Increase in Popularity: Are Unliving (Fake) Babies Collectibles or More?
• Now, Life-Like Baby Dolls Offer Comfort For Miscarriage Women!
• Bogus baby boom: Women who collect lifelike dolls: Eerily realistic ‘reborns’ sell for up to $4,000: ‘It fills a spot in your heart
• Lifelike Reborn Magazine

Fifteen states mandate certain fertility insurance coverage

Many couples pay out-of-pocket for infertility diagnosis and treatment. This is because many employers still do not offer infertility benefits.

Pending the type of fertility treatment rendered, costs may vary from a few hundred dollars to $15,000.00 or more. According to Resolve, the national infertility association, only 15 states have laws requiring insurance coverage for infertility treatment. These laws are known as mandates.

There are two types of mandates:

Mandates to Offer -  Mandates to offer require insurance companies to offer policies that cover infertility diagnosis and treatments. Employers must be made aware of these policies but are not required to include them in their employee benefits package.

Mandates to Cover -  Mandates to cover require insurance companies to cover the cost of certain fertility treatments in every policy. Monthly premiums help to cover the costs of these treatments. 

The following states with Mandates to Cover include: Arkansas, Louisiana, New York, California, Maryland, Ohio, Connecticut, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Hawaii, Montana, Texas, Illinois, New Jersey, and West Virginia.  

If your state is not listed, write to your local representative and ask them to introduce legislation to require infertility treatment coverage. 

To learn more about infertility benefits and for helpful tools (such as template letters to congress, employers, and insurance companies) visit www.resolve.org.

Does Acupuncture Really Work?

I have never tried acupuncture. I can take a shot or two for infertility treatments, but a bunch of needles all over my body sends chills up my spine. On the other hand, I do know two courageous members of the support group that gave it a try. After five to seven unsuccessful attempts of infertility treatments such as IVF and IUI, each one added acupuncture to her treatment plan. Both became pregnant. So, does acupuncture really work?

The American Pregnancy Association (APA) posted an interesting article on its website by Dr. Mike Berkley, an expert on acupuncture, herbal medicines and traditional medicine (located http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/acupuncture.htm). It provides the definition of acupuncture; talks about the benefits and risks; discusses when acupuncture should begin and end; and emphasizes the importance of receiving treatment from a licensed and Board certified acupuncturist who specializes in treating fertility disorders. According to this article, acupuncture does work.

For those of you who are not big fans of needles, I did learn that laser acupuncture is used to treat infertility as well. On May 28, 2009, Reproductive Medicine Associates of Connecticut (RMACT) announced the results of a recently conducted survey that showed the use of laser acupuncture performed both before and after embryo transfer during an IVF cycle, improves a woman’s chances of implantation by up to 15%.  The study, considered one of the largest clinical trials ever conducted on acupuncture, had 1,000 participants. To learn more about this study and view an informational video, go to http://www.prweb.com/releases/ivf-invitro-fertilization/infertility-treatment/prweb2465704.htm.

While there is proof that acupuncture (both needles and laser) works for some, not everyone will be able to use this type of treatment. For example, the article posted on the APA website states that acupuncture will not work to address tubal adhesions which can occur as a result of pelvic inflammatory disease or endometriosis. Before spending your money, get a clear understanding of your condition and how acupuncture will benefit you.

Remember, if you decide to travel this road do your research and make sure you find an acupuncturist who is licensed, Board certified and specializes in treating fertility disorders.

What is Acupuncture?

Acupuncture is the insertion of ultra-thin, sterile needles into specific acupuncture points on the body which reside on channels or meridians; these are pathways in both the exterior and interior of the body. These points, when needled, can regulate the way in which the body functions. Acupuncture helps by addressing problems that affect fertility such as under-functioning (hypothyroidism) or over-functioning (hyperthyroidism). (Source: http://www.americanpregnancy.org/infertility/acupuncture.htm.)
 

What is Laser Acupuncture?

Laser acupuncture usually uses low-energy laser beams—instead of traditional acupuncture needles—to influence the flow of current at the acupuncture points. A laser acupuncturist typically aims a beam of light from a laser tube onto an acupuncture point, stimulating it similar to the way acupuncture needles do. (Source: http://www.wisegeek.com/what-is-laser-acupuncture.htm.)

For more information about:

The American Pregnancy Association
Doctor Berkley – The Berkley Center for Reproductive Wellness
Acupuncture